VDH's Season Preview & Predictions

It’s almost that time of year again. The nation awaits with baited breath for the new season to begin, with hopes; dreams; and ambitions firmly in tact……. just waiting to be smashed into tiny pieces of sorrow and spite!

Don’t you just love the game of football?!!

So with the season merely days away Vanderhogg provides a star-gazing preview of the coming season club-by-club, as well as showing his predictions for the prizes.

Nickname: The Dons (although could/should be many other things)
Ground: Pittodrie
Position last season: 11th
Manager: Jimmy Calderwood
Players in: Derek Adams, Steven Craig, Scott Severin, Ciaran Donnelly
Players out: Scott Booth, Kevin Rutkiewicz, Scott Michie, David Zdrilic

VDH Season Verdict: Aberdeen, despite what their fans will tell you, are a struggling side and even under Jimmy Calderwood/Jimmy Nicholl are more than likely to struggle again this term. Defensively they are distinctly average, David Preece is the Ian Andrews of Pittodrie and the lack of a striker in the Red part of the North is frightening (for them, amusing for the rest).

The midfield areas has been significantly strengthened however with the signing of Scott Severin – this East Enclosure Dutchman rates Severin highly and am disappointed Rangers did not swoop.

However, with such weak links in the side, expect another season of shipping goals at one end whilst not scoring goals at the other. Here’s hoping anyway, just to see their greeting "we’re the third force, dontcha know" fan’s faces.

Key man – one to watch: Scott Severin
Key man – one to giggle at: David Preece
Predicted Position: 11th

Nickname: Beasts of the East End / Extras from Lord of the Rings
Ground: Breezeblock Boulevard
Position last season: 1st
Manager: Martin O’Neill
Players in: Henri Camera (in a laughably expensive loan deal)
Players out: Henrik Larsson, Liam Miller, Johan Mjallby, Jamie Smith

VDH Season Verdict: Despite enabling Scottish football a sigh of relief as they lose the diving Swede, Celtic are the team to beat. We can place all the bullshit and bluster to one side for a minute and say that they have a settled (if ageing) squad that has not seen much change for several years. They were light years ahead last season (we were nearer Hearts than Celtic) and still have the settled personnel to claim the title.

Of course, this view may not be universally accepted by fellow Bears, but my view is that anyone who thinks Celtic are finished because Larsson is gone is sadly lacking in a rational thought process. Especially as they still have the strikers capable of scoring numerous goals in the SPL.

The one chink in the Dim armour is the arrogant clamour (yep, the similarities with ourselves from 10 years ago is apparent) for Champions League progression. Their squad is still small and there is much hype (like our own squad) about their new superkids (similar hype to Simon Donnelly, Mark Burchill, etc).

However, stability is the key – and Celtic have this, so in VDH’s view will shade it.

Key man – one to watch: Chris Sutton (not for falling down either!)
Key man – one to giggle at: Martin O’Neill (for his inevitable Champions League interview)
Predicted Position: 1st
Predicted European Progress: 3rd in Champions League Group and 4th round exit in UEFA Cup

Nickname: The Dees (although could be "blame Rangers for their own failings")
Ground: Dens Park
Position last season: 7th
Manager: Jim Duffy
Players in: Iain Anderson, John Sutton, Glenn Atle Larsen, Bobby Mann, Neil Barrett
Players out: Nacho Novo, Julian Speroni, Steven Milne, Lee Mair, Dave Mackay, Jason Walker

VDH Season Verdict: Given the continual griping of the Dundee fans and management in blaming Rangers for Dundee’s own failings (ironic as they stole the likes of Zurab from a club in financial difficulties themselves…..) it would be nice to see Dundee in the depths of the SPL.

Some big players have left (notably Novo and Speroni), but Jim Duffy (well known Celtic shareholder) has acquired some decent signings in return. The return of the prodigal son Iain Anderson, following his French and English Nationwide sojourn; and the new strikeforce of Larsen and Sutton is sure to provide goals.

So administration is unlikely to affect the on-field performance too much. They will sign prove gritty, but ultimately in the bottom half of the table.

Key man – one to watch: John Sutton – will he fall over when tickled?
Key man – one to giggle at: Dundee fans – blaming Rangers for their club’s own failings
Predicted Position: 10th

Nickname: The Terrors (that’s "terrors" folks)
Ground: Tannadice Park
Position last season: 5th
Manager: Ian McCall
Players in: James Grady
Players out: Paul Gallacher, Craig Easton, Charlie Miller, Jim Paterson, Owen Coyle

VDH Season Verdict: United have surely just lost too many "quality" (it’s all relative) players to progress on last season’s fifth position. The number one goalkeeper and two talented (in this Bear’s opinion) midfielders have gone; to be replaced by 63 year old James Grady.

It is difficult to see that new signing "Tiny Todger" will be able to provide the driving force that the likes of Charlie Miller gave United.

With the players leaving and only one old man coming in, it’s hard to see anything but a bottom half of the table finish for United – but they play nice football, at least they try to place nice football so I hope I’m wrong.

Key man – one to watch: Mark Kerr
Key man – one to giggle at: Tiny
Predicted Position: 7th

Nickname: The Pars
Ground: East End Park
Position last season: 4th
Manager: David Hay
Players in: Simon Donnelly, Jamie Langfield
Players out: Stevie Crawford, Lee Bullen, David Grondin, Marco Ruitenbeek, Sean Kilgannon

VDH Season Verdict: Wonder if The Pars will lose their "lying down" tag now that a former Dim is in charge?

Like most clubs, Dunfermline have scaled down a bit since Jimmy Calderwood’s decision to move to the "bigger" club up north. They have lost some important players – Stevie Crawford the obvious pick of the bunch. However they have managed to keep Derek Stillie in goals and have added Jamie Langfield (Dundee) and Simon Donnelly (St Johnstone) to the fold. It will be interesting if Mr Donnelly is able to fulfil some of that "new Kenny Dalglish" potential.

They should have enough in their locker to finish in the top half – the artificial pitch means European ties away from Dunfermline (farcical, ain’t it?!) points towards early exit. If they reach the 1st round, they’ll be doing well.

Key man – one to watch: Simon Donnelly
Key man – one to giggle at: Noel Hunt (again)
Predicted Position: 5th
Predicted European Progress: UEFA Cup 1st round

Nickname: The Jam Tarts
Ground: Tynecastle
Position last season: 3rd
Manager: Craig Levein
Players in: Jamie McAllister, Ramon Pereira, Matthew Doherty, Michael Stewart
Players out: Scott Severin, Andy Kirk, Steven Boyack, Austin McCann, Paul McMullan, Liam Fox

VDH Season Verdict: Hearts proved last year that they have progressed significantly under Craig Levein. In years gone by, their points tally would have seen them in the top two; but such in the way in the SPL that the top two (or one last term) was miles ahead.

They have lost Scott Severin, but in truth they lost the gifted midfielder last year when his heart was not in it. In return they have gained a gifted midfielder in Michael Stewart on loan from Manchester United. In truth, his Hearts loan period is likely to be his "Rangers trial period". Here’s hoping anyway.

Expect 3rd place again and the group stages in the UEFA Cup, which in itself will be good experience for the Jambos.

And let’s hope the ludicrous policy and stewarding at Tynecastle (regarding flags) is binned, otherwise they are simply (and not just when we go there) provoking bother.

Key man – one to watch: Michael Stewart
Key man – one to giggle at: The Tynecastle Stewarding Farce
Predicted Position: 3rd
Predicted European Progress: UEFA Cup Groups

Nickname: The Beast’s Little Cousins
Ground: Easter Road
Position last season: 8th
Manager: Tony Mowbray
Players in: Simon Brown, David Murphy, Dean Shiels, Sam Morrow, Gary Caldwell, Guillaume Beuzelin
Players out: Matthias Doumbe, Daniel Andersson, Roland Edge, Yannick Zambernardi, Nick Colgan, Alan Reid

VDH Season Verdict: Tony Mowbray arrived at Easter Road to manage the wee Beasts and immeditely set about bringing in the "Who’s who" of the "Er, who?" list of players available.

Foruntately for Hibs, they have kept their "starlets" who will no doubt snarl, cry, bite and wet their pants through the season once more. The mark of Hibs last season was putting out Celtic and Rangers in the CIS Cup, and then crapping it on the day of the final!

Expect an inconsistant season and bordering the end of season split.

Key man – one to watch: Derek Riordan (again)
Key man – one to giggle at: Scott Brown (again)
Predicted Position: 8th

Nickname: no idea, such in the depth of the analysis….
Ground: Pittodrie (groundsharing with Aberdeen…… yup, that’s the SPL for you!)
Position last season: Newly promoted
Manager: John Robertson
Players in: Graham Bayne, Ian Black, Liam Fox, Juanjo, Darren Dods, Richard Hastings
Players out: David Bingham, Bobby Mann, Paul Ritchie

VDH Season Verdict: Caley were rightly promoted to the SPL following a longer running soap-opera that Eldorado. An even better outcome than Caley being promoted was the relegation of Partick Thistle, but that’s a personal opinion.

Quite simply, with a 210 mile and 5 hour (on a good day) round trip I cannot see the fans turning up after the novelty wears off. On the plus side, it’s another couple (potentially) days out to Aberdeen.

Sorry Caley, you’re the chaps for the drop.

Key man – one to watch: Juanjo – never quite made it at Hearts, but always threatened
Key man – one to giggle at: SPL for their groundsharing demands
Predicted Position: 12th

Nickname: Killie (although Boring Jeffries FC may be more appropriate)
Ground: Rugby Park
Position last season: 10th
Manager: Jim Jefferies
Players in: Alan Combe, Gary Wales, Peter Leven
Players out: Gary McSwegan, Steve Fulton, Alan Mahood, Martin Hardie, Colin Meldrum, Francois Dubourdeau, Barry McLaughlin

VDH Season Verdict: Saying that Killie were unimpressive last season is like saying that Stan Petrov maybe goes down a bit easily – both candidates for "Understatement of the Year".

Killie were simply the worst, most boring team of the SPL last term. And I would wager that little will change this term. No matter who they bring in, Jambo Jim and his manic sidekick will still be there with their own brand of negative football.

Here’s hoping for a bottom 6 finish for Killie – quite simply so we only have to play them 3 times.

Key man – one to watch: Peter Leven – be interesting to see if the kid makes it
Key man – one to giggle at: Kilmarnock’s ailing support
Predicted Position: 9th

Nickname: Livi Lions (seriously, it’s not "mini Dims")
Ground: City Stadium
Position last season: 9th
Manager: Allan Preston
Players in: Craig Easton, Jason Dair, Marc Libbra, Goran Stanic, Gus Bahoken, Jim Hamilton
Players out: Marvin Andrews, Lee Makel, Alan Main, John Paul McGovern

VDH Season Verdict: It has been a trying few months at Livingston but stability seems to have been restored at last. The players they have lost have been decent players in recent years, but they have managed to bring in players that can make the spine of the side.

In Craig Easton they also have a player that is capable (no disrespect to Livi) of so much more. Another "what could have been" story.

How Livi do is down to two things – how they gel and how the new manager copes without his mentor. Expect mid-table, maybe just 6th….. considering where they were 3 months ago, this will be a great achievement.

Key man – one to watch: Craig Easton
Key man – one to giggle at: Probably Craig Easton!
Predicted Position: 6th

Nickname: The Steelmen / 'Well
Ground: Fir Park
Position last season: 6th
Manager: Terry Butcher
Players in: Brian Kerr, Jim Paterson, Richie Foran
Players out: Derek Adams, Steven Craig, Keith Lasley, Jason Dair.

VDH Season Verdict: You could argue that big Terry’s side over-achieved last season given his young side and therefore much credit must be placed at Butcher’s door. Some of the main players have left, but in their place some goodies have arrived; not least Brian Kerr on loan.

It will take a huge effort to stay on track after last season, but I expect them to do it and make 5th.

Key man – one to watch: David Clarkson
Key man – one to giggle at: Gordon Marshall (as ever)
Predicted Position: 4th

Nickname: The Gers, God’s Chosen Few
Ground: Ibrox Stadium (a stadium without bits falling off)
Position last season: 2nd
Manager: Alex McLeish
Players in: Dado Prso, Nacho Novo, Marvin Andrews, Jean Alain Boumsong, Alex Rae, Dragan Mladenovic, Gregory Vignal (loan)
Players out: Mikel Arteta, Ronald de Boer, Frank de Boer, Henning Berg, Egil Ostenstad, Christian Nerlinger, Nuno Capucho, Emerson, Michael Mols, Steven McLean, Andy Dowie, Darryl Duffy, Billy Gibson

VDH Season Verdict: The revolving door at Ibrox has revolved more than ever this summer with no less than 8 first team players exiting and 7 coming in at budget prices.

Pre-season has given Rangers an early boost and performances have been decent and the players looking sharp, especially the new boys. Already Nacho Novo and Dado Prso are looking the part up front and the midfield has a bit of bite about it with Alex Rae. Boumsong looks the gem we were promised at the back also.

However the real fear is that the squad is paper thin in key areas – central midfield being one of them. This, coupled with the requirement for the team to gel from day one, points towards second place again for this Rangers side. Hopefully I’m wrong.

In Europe, we have a massive hurdle to clear in CSKA Moscow. The money’s ripe in Russia at the minute and the "army club" of Moscow recently shelled out £6m on Love from Palmerias in Brazil. It will take an almighty effort to get past them.

If we can, 3rd spot in the Champions League group is progress on last year with the safety net of the UEFA Cup still on offer.

I do believe we will win silverware this term however, so expect Mr Mint telling us what a good season it has been……

Key man – one to watch: Nacho Novo
Key man – one to giggle at: No-one hopefully, but we know there’s a few candidates
Predicted Position: 2nd
Predicted European Progress: 3rd in Champions League Group and 4th round exit in UEFA Cup

So there you have it folks. VDH in his wisdom (for the second year running) tips Celtic to win the title simply because I believe Celtic, despite losing their talisman, have a better first 11 and a better squad, given they’ve been together for a number of years, equipped to win the title.

Of course it goes without saying, I hope I am completely wrong.

Vanderhogg
The East Enclosure Dutchman