Euro 2004 Round Up
Section Matches #1
So how was it for you? The supposed second greatest footballing tournament on Earth I mean. I have to say all in all it produced no great teams, no truly sensational superstars and a Greek side that are the Sellik of the international game. Hard working sure, but devoid of flair, are more intent on strangling opposition skills and who were the beneficiaries of a squalid and very lenient refereeing performance in their semi final against the Czechs. Clark, Dallas etc are not alone it seems.
Mind you the Greeks more than deserved their win versus the host nation on the opening day of the tournament. Purgatory for the Portuguese was made a thousand times worse when their Iberian rivals, Spain, beat a lack lustre Russian team to meander to the top of that group without getting out of second gear.
This was the forerunner to THE big match of the group stages, if you were to believe the English press that is. We didn't know it at the time of course but the English side's torment at twelve yards versus Zidane and Co on Day 2 was to be the forerunner of their ultimate demise in the tournament later in the knock out stages.
There's no doubt about it, if Beckham had put away that penalty midway through the second half then victory against the reigning European champions would have been assured. Not that anyone could have begrudged France at least a share of the spoils for a second half performance that is known in Glasgow footballing parlance as; 'Shooty-In'.
The drama of those last breathtaking two minutes gave us more to shout about and savour, if that is the word I'm looking for, than the entire 90 minutes of the preceding match in the group when the sterile Swiss and the crap Croats, featuring a certain Dado Prso of this parish, bored us all to tears.
Next up was Italy, who were many peoples' favourites to lift the trophy, versus a very well organised and spirited Danish side who were very easy on the eye. A draw all in all was probably a fair result but the match ended shrouded in controversy when it emerged that Tally golden boy, Totti, had spat in an opponent's face.
This fine act of sportsmanship resulted in a three-match ban for the Italian. Now I'm the same as the next Scottish football fan when it comes to how I view footballers flinging about the phlegm. BUT, and maybe this is just me, I still cannot reconcile myself to the fact that spitting at/on an opponent is considered a worse act than deliberately trying to maim him!
Let's put it another way; Totti copped a three-match ban for his sins (Hell Italians get 4 match bans in Scotland when there is no conclusive TV evidence) but not all that long ago a certain Neil Simpson received a mere yellow card for a hatchet job on the brightest Scottish footballing star of the past thirty years!
So to spit or to maim? I know which crime I'd have preferred Simpson to perpetrate on Ian Durrant. Elsewhere in that group the battle of the yahoo divers ended in a one sided victory for the Swedish one.
The following day saw the battle of the big guns of Holland and Germany etch out a boring draw and Czechoslovakia luckily beat a spirited Latvian side that would end up the whipping boys of the group.
End of Round One;
Group A - The host nation's opening day defeat was something of a shocker.
Group B - England nearly beating France was one, too.
Group C - Denmark, spat on the faces as it were of those who thought this section would be a breeze for Italy.
Group D - As tight at that point as anyone could have expected beforehand with results going to form.
Section Matches #2
Portugal got back off their knees with an easy win over the Russians, who became the first nation to be shunted out of the tournament. Then came another surprise of sorts from the Greeks who gained a draw over a Spanish side that was expected to all but book their place in the second round proper. Purgatory was now somehow much more sufferable for the home fans.
Then came THE second biggest game of the tournament, if you were to believe the English press, that is. Three goals against reply and the woeful Swiss, which included a brace from Wayne Rooney and the world was somehow back on its axis for our southern neighbours. The crap Croats surprisingly held the French and would you believe it, Mr Prso, of this parish, scored a goal.
The following day saw the Danes sail by Bulgaria on a ground that had a fecking rock behind one of the goals instead of a stand. Even the cesspit in its worst days under 'Ra Sellik faimilies' was never as bad as this. But more trouble was in store for the Azuri in the same section.
They had played the dour Swedes off the park for an hour or so and were a goal to the good, when they resorted in time-honoured defensive fashion to sitting back on their lead. This allowed Sweden the opportunity to equalise, which they were only too happy to do. After the shame of Totti's spit, this was indeed a hard result for Italy to swallow.
Group D, which was always going to be the toughest section to call was still up for grabs after a surprising draw for the Germans v Latvia, which was followed by a fantastic, free flowing example of football between Holland and Czechoslovakia.
Quite how Holland, two goals to the good and playing well, conspired to lose the match by the odd goal in five remains a mystery thus allowing the Czechs to qualify. Much was made of Dick Advocaat's substitutions and how the match hinged on them. Yet incredibly no one of a Dutch persuasion chose to comment of the appalling back pass by Cocu who gave the Czechs a lifeline that was scarcely deserved. But hey, that's Holland for you.
End of Round Two'
Group A - A clear shot at redemption for the host nation with possibly a bit of 'getitupye' neighbour in store for them into the bargain. Beat their biggest rivals and the pain could conceivably reign in Spain.
Group B - Going more or less to type although a slight hiccup from France was a sign of what was to come.
Group C - A scandalous Scandinavian set-up in the making? A 2-2 draw in the final match of the group between Denmark and Sweden and the Tallies were 'Water Skoot' no matter what they did against the Bulgars, whose squad was now down by one diver.
Group D - Czechoslovakia were through and it was now a case of what is to become of us?; for the Gerries and the Oranje crew.
Section Matches #3
All matches at this stage were now being played at the exact same time in case there was any 'Ranygazoo' going on. They're a suspicious bunch at UEFA. Well when you give out awards to slavering, bigoted, intolerant, rabid fans that actually boo winning teams onto the winners' podium? Then I suspect you all knew that anyway.
Victory could never have tasted sweeter for the Portuguese support. Looking as though they were down and out only one week earlier, not only did they beat their greatest rivals Spain thus securing entry into the quarter finals. Greece's incredible run of luck continued to the extent that a hatful of missed chances by Russia meant that it was Greece and not Spain who joined them in the last eight of the competition. Adios Amigo and all that.
Which bought us to the France v Switzerland game and then the third biggest match of the tournament, IF you were to believe the English press, that is. England swept the crap Croats aside and even though they lost an early goal England were well worth their win. Oh, and Wayne Rooney scored two goals. It would be fair to say Rooneymania had begun. Oh and France stumbled through once again against Switzerland.
History will show that the Denmark v Sweden game finished in that special 2-2 draw that baulked the Italians, who beat Bulgaria 2-1, of further participation in the tournament. But anyone who saw this match would tell you that there was absolutely no chance that this was the carve up the Italians were forecasting beforehand.
This match hinged on a couple of bad misses from Denmark and an appalling decision to award Sweden a penalty after a blatant dive from one of their players. If ever there is an anti Cheats Charter brought into the game you can be assured that there is a Swede and a Bulgar who played in this competition will assuredly not be signing it.
The following night Germany were expected to take second place in the group, especially when the news filtered through that the Czechs would be resting a few of their top players with a view to their forthcoming quarter final. And it seemed as if everything was going to plan when they took the lead through Ballack. The under strength Czech side however were having none of it and came back to win the match 2-1.
This shock result allowed the Dutch to go through if they could win and they duly kept their side of the bargain with a 3-0 stroll against Latvia. After all the vilification of the weekend previous this must have been a sweet moment for Dick Advocaat.
End of Round #3
Quarter final ties;
Portugal v England
France v Greece
Sweden v Holland
Czech Rep v Denmark
Sod the frogs, here it was. This was THE biggest game of the competition if you were to believe the English press that is. And they were in headline heaven within a couple of minutes when Michael Owen, who had previously been slated all through the Group stage by the hacks because he wasn't Wayne Rooney, ran through to score a delightful poacher's goal.
But this was to be as good as it gets for this English side. Sure they played well in patches but just like in their game against France they surrendered huge chucks of territory and possession in the second half. And truthfully no one could really say that a late Portuguese equaliser wasn't deserved.
Mind you as the game entered extra-time the controversy had only begun. Costa scored a magnificent goal with ten minutes left, which you thought had won the game. But fair play to England they summoned up their last few reserves of energy and Lampard was on hand to score a courageous equaliser.
We still weren't done though, although the English will claim they well and truly were! In the last minute Sol Campbell wheeled away in delight after scoring what he thought was going to be the winner. The referee had other ideas though and disallowed the goal.
A controversial decision? You bet! Let's put it another way. There is not a football fan anywhere in the world would have expected that goal to be chalked off if his team had scored it.
Next up was the lottery that is penalty kicks. Beckham saw his sail high, wide and handsome over the bar. It was so bad it made his previous effort in Turkey in the qualifying stages look like a near thing. He blamed a dodgy penalty spot. Strangely enough this same dodgy penalty spot was okay when the Portuguese GOALKEEPER tucked away the kick that took the home side through to the semi finals.
The following night was rather sad as the choke the-life-out-of-the-game Greeks stunned a French side that was once again well and truly out of sorts. Truly this Euro Championships had witnessed the end of an era.
There is an old Glasgow football saying; 'Nae goals, nae fitba' It could have been invented for the guff served up to us the following night between the Dutch and Sweden. The game was memorable for the Dutch only in that they put their own penalty shoot-out hoodoo in major championships to bed.
All that was left was for the Czechs who were becoming outright favourites to win the trophy now to put Denmark in their place. And this they duly did with a 3-0 victory.
Semi final ties;
Portugal v Holland
Greece v Czech Rep
Portugal simply brushed by an out of sorts' Dutch side with more ease than the 2-1 score line might suggest. And at long last Figo took top billing. After a ropey start when at one time it looked as though they could have been out at the group stages, everything in big Phil's garden was turning up roses.
So who would their opponents be in the final? Well football fans were all hoping that the Czechs would finally put the dour Greeks out. They would have done it as well if it were not for a terrible miss from their gigantic striker Koller late in the second half and some consistently inconsistent refereeing from a bug-eyed Italian.
Time and again he allowed the Greeks to chop down their opponents with no hints at a yellow being brandished and also somehow missed a certain penalty when Koller was manhandled to the ground. The only thing worse than the referee's performance was the fawning, nauseating codswallop singing his praises the referee from that irksome ITV commentator.
Then it happened, with only seconds to go of the first half of extra time Greece gained a corner and from the resulting kick, centre half Dellas was on hand to nick the all important silver goal. There was to be no way back for the Czechs.
2004 European Championship Final;
Portugal v France
For the first time ever in a major tournament the teams who competed in the opening match played out the last game as well. Into the bargain for the first time ever 'coaches' who were non-nationals managed the two finalists.
History would have been made for either side, as it was the first final appearance for both countries in a major tournament. But fortune as it has done all through this tournament favoured the Greeks.
This was a pretty ordinary match but in all fairness there can be no denying that the better side, with the better players won on the night. Although the Greek's winning goal can be put down to a horrendous piece of goalkeeping, they had looked the more dangerous side, especially in that nervy cancel each other out first half.
It goes without saying that the Portuguese threw everything they had at their opponents, Ronaldo and Figo having half chances in the last stages of the match but even with 5 minutes stoppage time in their favour they never really got going or made a serious chance.
On a night that will live forever in Greek history (and I'll spare you any puns about new Gods) right back Seitardis and midfielder Basinas were the pick of the bunch on the night for the victors. All that was left was for the Greeks to salute their fans and pick up their winners medals from Eusebio who for some reason or another thinks a cotton towel is the ideal fashion accessory for a nice suit, collar and tie. It's a bugger seeing the legends of your youth grow old is it not?
So there you go my view of this summer's football. As I said earlier it is with some sadness that I have to say we have all witnessed the end of an era. Euro 2004 surely being the last time we'll see this current French squad that has given us so much pleasure over the last six or seven years. But hey, life goes on and you get the feeling it won't be too long before they are churning out the next generation of swashbucklers.
As for Holland? Who in their right mind would want to coach/manage these pompous, over bearing, arrogant megalomaniacs? After all the stick he's had to endure from the press AND his players, Dick Advocaat would be right to walk away.
Tell you what though, in my humble opinion, the first thing anyone should do in taking over this suicidal lot would be to banish Davids, Seedorf and Kluivert completely. It is nothing short of a scandal that this particular trio can moan, imply and hint at racism every and anytime they are substituted or not picked. They're at it at every tournament and Portugal 2004 was no different.
England? Just where do you start with this lot. The truth of the matter is their players are never the sum of the parts their press deem them to be. Mind you, when you have imbeciles comparing Wayne Rooney to Pele when all the while Sven Goran Erikson was going out of his way NOT to make that comparison then you realise full well the pressure that is heaped on their players.
Rooney had a marvellous tournament and I thought you could see him growing in confidence and stature with every passing game. Campbell was a rock in defence and Gary Neville at right back had a steady tournament but what else have they got?
Beckham is an impostor and always has been on the world stage. He's never had blinding pace or the dribbling skills of a Giggs. He's never had the vision or the exquisite touch that characterised Cantona's play. All he's ever had in his armoury (and sure he's worked hard at that part of his game) is the ability to take a half decent free kick.
But why just blame Beckham for his lack of real talent when the English press are the one's who should be in the dock for the truly preposterous hype that surrounds this very average footballer? Once again you have to say that Alex Ferguson was correct in getting rid of the Beckham circus when he did.
Which leaves us with the winners. It would be churlish to deny that in many ways Greece deserved to win the tournament. They beat the hosts twice; beat the reigning holders and the team many considered to be the favourites en route to their ultimate triumph.
But at what cost to the beautiful game? Of course you want your team to be organised in all departments but I sometimes got the impression that the Greeks where only there to stifle their opponents instead of trying to play football themselves, which ironically enough they showed they could do in the final.
Of course all over Greece right now they'll be partying as never before and they have every right to do just that. But if doing football the Greek way is the future for the beautiful game then goodness help us all.
Still, as if they give stuff what any of us think in Athens and beyond right now. That feck it's only another four years before we have to go through that again.
Yours in football,
The Govanhill Gub