That Was The Week That Was

That Was the Week That Was

One of my all time heroes (and I swear I've only read about two or three paragraphs about him in a book, one time about 15 years ago) has got to be an old Glasgow street character called 'The Clincher'. This guy achieved some considerable notoriety in his time, because of a freesheet of the same name that he used to print and distribute around the streets of the second city of the Empire in the late 1800s. It was called 'The Clincher' because he claimed to have a little silver bell in his brain that used to ring and 'clinch' any argument.

This guy and his name was either Alexander Petrie was scathing in his attacks on the rich and that famous. He also used to lambaste the City fathers on a regular basis. So much so that they wanted to have him institutionalised.

This of course only acted as a spur to 'The Clincher' who then paid to be examined by a psychiatrist, who declared of course that he was sane. So from then on, 'The Clincher' went around claiming, 'I'm the only certified sane man in Glasgow'! Quite superb stuff.

One of the all time classic quotes I have ever read belonged to our man Petrie. Commenting on the death of Lord Overtoun. (a scumbag whose factories in the south side of Glasgow and the conditions they were in, cost the lives of countless numbers of his workers). The front page of his wee paper read, 'Consternation in Heaven. Lord Overtoun fails to arrive!' I have to say that after events of the last week concerning our politicians and our scum press, 'The Clincher' has very much been in my thoughts.

I just wonder what this rather acerbic and straight to the point, Victorian advocate of free speech would have made of Jack McConnell. A man, who acts as a messagecarrier for sympathisers of republican murder gangs, is one of the main players in an anti sectarian campaign here in Scotland in the present day?

I also wonder what The Clincher would have made of the fact, that this same reptile, whose party allows supporters of the Enniskillen atrocity to walk through the streets of Scotland, has just launched this year's 'Poppy Appeal¹ here in this same country?

The sad fact is there are no 'Clinchers' out there anymore. Certainly not in the Scottish footballing press anyway. Over the last ten days or so, I've had the misfortune to read three Scottish reporters commentating on the sectarian issue, specifically on confiscating flags, yet give Jock McConnell's clearly more sinister actions a bodyswerve.

The three reporters in question are Stuart Cosgrove, Davie Provan and Gerry McNee. The bottom line is, the impression given by these three recently is that open support for the IRA is not really that much of an issue for Scottish journalists or yahoo media lapdogs. And you don't need any silver bells in your brain to 'clinch' that particular argument.

You've got to give McNee eleven out of ten for audacity mind you. Whilst he was completely ignoring open support for the IRA by a fellow Celt on one hand in his column for a Sunday sleazeoid, the other was getting ripped into Rangers fanzines. He said and I quote; "Those behind such publications should be denied entry into the Stadium and treated like the pariahs they are."

Well, given that Gerry obviously reads FF, here's another wee snippet he might like to chew over. In my opinion, McNee like every other septic minded journalist here in Scotland who has refused to discuss and therefore helped cover up the sporting scandal of all time, which happened at THEIR club, are the dregs of humanity. Still, if I'm telling lies, McNee is more than welcome to set Plod on me.


Still, things could only get better on Sunday after reading McNee, and they did. Although I missed it, there seems to be no escaping from the fact that Rangers produced one of their best displays in a long, long time against Killie.

Certainly in the highlights (or what there was of them) the players did appear to show the correct amount of hunger and desire. That's the way it should be. Mr de Boer's goal was out of the top drawer, but the one-two between Mols and Ferguson, which allowed Bazza in to score the fourth goal was my particular favourite moment from the match. I'd also like to say thanks but no thanks to some of my 'pals' who would be quite happy if I made arrangements to be working every home game if the performance v Kilmarnock was anything to go by. Yeah, I'd miss you too lads.

I'm delighted to see that Scottish football has also caught the health bug, which has enveloped the country, these last few years. This was very much in evidence earlier this week when it was revealed that the up and coming Aberdeen v Motherwell match has had to be postponed due to the not so dandy Dons handing in something like 17 Doctors' lines due to a virus sweeping Pittodrie.

Of course it is only right that the game should have been put on hold. But I can't help but think back to just under 6 years ago when round about the 5th of January 1997, Rangers, who had submitted TWENTY EIGHT doctors' lines into the Scottish League, were still ordered to play at Easter Rd. One rule for Rangers once again.

The difference in the medical attitude towards the Rangers of 97 and Aberdeen of 2002 by the Scottish authorities should come as no surprise to any of us. After all these are the same people who slapped a three or four match extra ban on Ian Ferguson for spitting in the general direction of Petric of Dundee Utd at Ibrox in 1993. Yet Mark Viduka of Celtic who actually spat ON a Dunfermline player two years ago, walked away SFA free.


Midweek also saw Spew Keevins trying to create something out of nothing when he claimed that 'Rangers had kicked up a storm of controversy' by allowing Blackburn the use of the facilities at Auchenhowie. Let's see now, Blackburn are managed by a former Rangers manager and director. He is also a close personal friend of Rangers' owner. Anyone, who seriously thought that this wasn't going to be an option for the Lancashire side needs his head examined. Of course, Celtic offering the same courtesy to Borussia Dortmund before a match at Ibrox a few years ago did not merit the same outpouring of grief.

Keevins not to be deterred said Rangers were traitors to the Scottish game. It's quite rich mind you coming from a guy who said nowt when Celtic directors went to Hampden to support Southern Ireland AGAINST Scotland. Who said nowt when the yahoos paraded an Irish American boxer at Septic Park a week before said pugilist was fighting our very own Jim Watt in a world title bout. Who has said nowt to counter Billy McNeill's claims that 'Celtic are an Irish club, who just happen to play their football in Scotland.' Apart from that, imagine a yahoo having the audacity to claim anyone else in Scotland was a traitor?


The week certainly ends though on a wee cloud of controversy though. Apparently FF has been banned from Ibrox. Honest, straight up and hope to die and all that. It is hardly groundbreaking news I would have thought, given that we've been living with the fact for the last two years. But nevertheless, in many ways it is heartening to see the lengths, yahoos will go, to try and discredit us here at FF.

Mind you, I couldn't help but stifle a hearty guffaw when I read that a certain Robert McAuley was behind this 'exclusive' for The Mirror'. Why? I hear you ask. Well, let's just say that if you've trudged through the sludge that is the 'Selliktopicadigest' in the last few weeks after the most recent OF game, you'd be aware that a majority of the natives do not look on Mr McAuley too favourably. And his crime? Well, apparently he committed the heinous act of admitting that irafitbaclub also has its fair share of racists among the faithful. And as we all know. Hell hath no fury like a yahoo trying to own up to the truth and his own inadequacies.

Fact is, reading the plight of Mr McAuley, and what he is going through 'among his ain folk' would bring tears to a glass eye. I think it's just a natural reaction in these instances to favour the underdog. And if one shining fact came out of oor Rab's wee piece for The Mirror, it is this. Mr McAuley most assuredly is a dog.

In trying to rubbish an article about sectarianism in the most recent edition of FF, Mr McAuley resorted to type, if you'll pardon the pun. Acted in that time-honoured manner so favoured by Timmy, when confronted with a fact he can't deal with. That's right he played the old 'bigotry' card.

According to our bhoy Bob. 'This month's issue is littered with derogatory references to Catholics.' It's not exactly a demolition job when you have to tell a lie in the very first sentence is it? The fact is, there are no derogatory references to Catholics in FF. Never have been and never will be.

In the end up it was the same old same old, Tim with typewriter guerrilla warfare. A wee half line here, an unfinished sentence there. The 'coop dae grass' as it were came when he told us that in one article, 'Glasgow Lord Provost, Alex Mosson, is referred to as an IRA sympathising ex thief.' Well, that's because he is!

Still, keep up the good work Mr McAuley. You'll never quite be in the same league as 'The Clincher' when it comes to hard-hitting journalism. But in denying the truth and trying to bend the truth round to your typically twisted sense of septic-minded fair play, I forecast a promising career ahead for you in Scottish journalism.

However, the McAuley's of this world and their distortion are to be expected. It is after all what a yahoo does. However, the fact that Rangers' Chief Executive Martin Bain was only too happy to go along with the Mirror and The Scotsman's pathetic attempts in trying to demonise the fanzine, tells you everything you need to know about the calibre of people currently occupying the Rangers Boardroom. They really are skulking, craven cowards every last one of them and they have effectively alienated the rank and file support.

In fact, I'll go as far as to say that by standing by and allowing this to happen, Bain has effectively signed his own P45. Oh, he won't go just because we want him to. But he has made our job here at FF in trying to point out to the support, that he does not have the best interests of the fans at heart, a whole lot easier.

It is truly astonishing when you come to think of it. The man who allows people like Leckie who refers to the Rangers support as 'Orange Scum' to come and go as he pleases at Ibrox. The man who has sat back as Ewing Grahame has accused the Rangers directors of murder. Is only too pleased to side with these people against the Rangers support. It truly was the last, desperate actions of a man who is on the road to nowhere. And the really ironic thing here is that his pals in the press won't be doing too much to save his hide when Murray decides he needs to throw someone to the wolves to placate them for the time being.

I'll warn Murray in advance here though. It's not going to be enough. They have to go, each and every, last one of the incompetents taking a good wage out of the club at the present time and giving us sod all in return. Especially Greig, the man who was quite ludicrously voted as the greatest Ranger of all time, but all the while did nothing in his time in charge of the PR Dept to defend the origins of the club. Each and every last one of them has to go. But for now, I'll settle for that weasel Bain.

So it's the City of Discovery tomorrow. The bottom line is, with our defence we will need to be on our toes at all times. The main danger man for me is Caballero, who I think is a smashing footballer. But as always, if we apply ourselves (and a repeat of last week's efforts will do nicely) then victory and another three points should be ours.

Just do it Rangers,

THE GOVANHILL GUB

PS, For those of you out there, who will feel the need to let Martin Bain know just what you think of him tomorrow - And I'm sure there will be a few. Try and keep it clean.