Today is Saturday, and it's the eve of another Old Firm fixture. At 12.45 tomorrow, Glasgow's tribal square-go will occur in the east end's blot on the landscape; Celtic Park, the edifice that gives the appearance of having been inspired by an MFI furniture warehouse.
Predicting the outcome of battles between blue and green has often been thought to be a mug's game, but the aftermath of these contests never changes; if Rangers win, it will be "controversial", but if Celtic win, it will be fully merited. A draw won't differ substantially from a Celtic loss.
For the refereeing community, it's an officiating nightmare. Decisions which have an adverse effect on Celtic can lead to intimidation of match officials' families, public accusations of dishonesty and the very real possibility of career ruination.
Tomorrow's referee, a promising young official who happens to be Catholic, will be described in sectarian terms if Rangers win, but will be a saint if Celtic triumph. The green and white hordes embrace holy when the sun shines and then revert to sectarian type when clouds gather.
A Celtic victory will see public endorsement of the referee as the nation's press pack lavish praise for such a professional display, but if Rangers take the points, every decision against Celtic will be highlighted and magnified by people who are to integrity what Worzel Gummidge is to sartorial elegance. Old Firm games provoke many things, but mostly they out liars, cheats and hypocrites.
The mythical Protestant establishment is the ace in Celtic's hand, the card that makes an appearance whenever that club's failings need to be deflected. Never is it the chairman's fault, or the chief executive's fault, or the manager's fault, or the players' fault; instead it's the fault of Protestant Scotland and its placemen: the match officials.
Celtic is a club unique in world football. This club has never been deservedly beaten. There is no such thing as Celtic failure, and there Is no shortage of blame either when the green and white hoops get horsed.
We can predict with certainty, absolute certainty, that if Celtic lose tomorrow, it will be someone else's fault. Since Dumbarton Rock was a pebble, this has been a consistent truth whenever blue meets green, and should Rangers take the points tomorrow, this truth will be buried under a mountain of lies, smears and exaggerations by all the usual suspects.