The countdown to Bratislava started around Saturday lunchtime and, hardly surprisingly, the midweek mis-hap at Livingston and the damage done to Big Eck’s stature is the main topic if conversation. With Caley Thistle in the bottom six, the general consensus of opinion is that they, just likeFalkirk, Dundee United and Livi, will relish a game against Rangers at this time.
“Don’t be daft,” I say. “The Gers will be hurting after Livi, they’ll take it out on Caley Thistle, I’m expecting a convincing victory – just so long as we get the first goal.”
Ah well, we all know what happened. Dargo fires in a beaut – I can’t believe some folk are blaming Ronaldo – and we’re pissing into the wind…again! The introduction of Thommo for Burkey at half-time is puzzling but, within eight minutes of the restart, the sub has fired in the equaliser. Now we’ll really take them apart.
Yet again, we just didn’t get a break in front of goal. The ref denies us a stonewall penalty when Blue Peter is knocked on his arse at the end of an amazing run, Mark Brown makes a couple of good saves and another two points have been flashed down the pan.
Sun. Oct.30
The Sunday morning papers don’t make pleasant reading. ‘Eckstra Time’, ‘WrECKed’ and ‘Time Is Up’ scream the headlines…and judging from the glum faces buried in the papers there are plenty of Bears on parade atPrestwickAirportfor the 10.20 to Stanstead. With a six hour wait for the connection toBratislava, the trip starts for real now, although from the antics of some, they started some time before the rest of us.
A year ago I took my daughter on a cheap’n’cheerful day trip to Paris for her 21st and had the great misfortune to be stuck on the same flight as loads of the Scum Of on their way to Barcelona. They were a feckin nightmare but, as I shook my head in despair, I consoled myself with the knowledge that we don’t behave like that. Oh dear, there were a right few numpties on my flight. If Hee Haw We’ve Won 51 is reading this he needs to take a good look at himself in the mirror. Prancing up and down the plane when the “Fasten Seat Belts’ sign is on ain’t too clever, nor is lighting up on the runway when planes are refuelling. And we’re not talking about a silly wee boy either. By the way, have you found your passport yet? Muppet!!!
Those of us with more active brain cells are discussing the Freckled One’s job security, or lack of it, and the buzz is that Mr Chairman was spotted dining out with Tricky Dicky in Edinburgh. Could the Caat Man be due to make a dramatic comeback? Surely not! Then again, he might have something to offer in an advisory capacity, just so long as he doesn’t take any calls from Tore Andre Flo’s agent.
It is close tomidnightby the time we hit Bratislava so we make do with a few beers in the hotel bar before turning in.
Mon. Oct.31
The joys of the Slovakian economy are quickly evident as we realise that beer works out at around 70p a pint. Somebody else points out that a decent pair of shoes will set you back about a fiver but who wants to waste all that money on shoes? Barefooted and blootered sounds like a good idea to me.
The Oakville True Blues are over from Canada, Calum, Morv and Tracy (no E), JP from Gourock is keen to deny his name, I wonder why, and the troops from the Brown Cow in Mansfield have taken over a boozer next to the fruit market, with their good Christian music booming out loud and clear to invite any passing Bears to join them for a small refreshment.
A few of us head for the team’s hotel and, as the Hack Pack arrive for Big Eck’s press conference, the Queer Fella from the Gherald gets a bit of stick. He was spotted in town earlier, all on his lonesome, Mr Nae Mates, tut-tutting at the musical soundtrack to his stroll around the back streets.
Bratislava is picking up on the realisation that Artmedia ain’t just playing any old football team. The famous Glasgow Rangers are here and, having been denied the trip to the San Siro, the turn-out is growing more impressive by the hour. The Oakville contingent, from close to Toronto, have been denied tickets by Rangers because they ain’t in the Travel Club but, surprise surprise, tickets are freely on sale at the stadium so, thankfully, the nonsensical possibility of coming all this way for nothing is kicked into touch.
Tues. Nov. 1
Match day dawns with some old familiar tunes being heard across the breakfast table at the Hotel Kijev. I understand it is the same story at various other inns and taverns. Robbie from Dennistoun is eating for Scotland but Doris from Letham ain’t up to facing solids. Something you ate, babe? Or did somebody spike your drink? Too much gin in your tonic perhaps.
It’s a public holiday in Slovakiaso the shops are shut, much to the annoyance of the Shoplifters Loyal. Never mind, they reopen tomorrow so the pre-Christmas orders might be met. One thing is certain, if the shop workers are as lackadaisical as the bar staff, you’ll be pushed to get served in time for Christmas. The Major, however, has cracked it. Don’t wait till your glass is empty before ordering your next drink, just keep them coming, darling, is his message.
The main square has been taken over by the Bears. The extent of Rangers support inEnglandis evident from the banners on show. Coventry,Manchester,Corby,LeedsandNottingham are all represented and The Blue Order’s Cooper banner catches the eye as the local media put in an appearance with their cameras. TheBratislava constabulary appear to be quite happy to look on from the sidelines, although they won’t allow the main building to be draped in our colours.
Heading out to the stadium, we are all in fine voice but, once we get there, it quickly becomes clear the Slovaks have a lot to learn about crowd control. Just as it was in Stuttgart two years ago, no matter what section your ticket is for, if you’re wearing a red, white and blue scarf, you’re being herded into one corner of the ground. So although there is plenty of space around, Bears are packed in like sardines and, with Dado getting us off to a flying start, there is a bit of a crush.
Is somebody going to have to get killed before Rangers speak up for the fans? With our tragic history in this area, our club more than any other should be conscious of the dangers of crushing. Laurence McIntyre should earn his fat salary by liaising with opposing clubs and making sure we are safe. Of course, we’ll get a lecture about not buying tickets unless through the Travel Club but if our club accepted realistic ticket allocations, instead of limiting our options, this problem would be less likely to occur.
Having got the game off to the perfect start, we just knew it was too good to be true and Artmedia were quickly back on level terms. However, Thommo got us back in front before the interval, although news that Porto were a goal up at the San Siro had a very sobering effect (well, not quite, but you know what I mean!). Then we hit the old self-destruct button. The comic cuts nonsense which presented Artmedia with their second goal just sums up our season. And while we continue to give goals away like that, we can expect to suffer more and more disappointments.
Yet we should have won it. Elsewhere I’ve expressed the view that Peter Lovenkrands is well past his sell-by date. He could have proved me wrong by going in where it hurts to get his late header on target but he didn’t, he shirked it and two crucial Champions League points were lost. It just isn’t good enough Peter.
We might have the advantage over Artmedia by virtue of our two away goals but I’ve got a rotten feeling they might again get something againstPorto, while I’m not really expecting us to get anything from our trip to Portugal. Which could leave our European future hanging on what we do against Inter Milan on December 6. I’m far from confident. By the way, did anybody check out the Vienna True Blues website prior to heading forBratislava. They had us down for a 2-2 draw a week before the game. What odds were Austrian bookies offering for a correct score bet?
Back in town after the game, it is clear some pubs have had trouble coping with the demands of us FFers. Some have literally been drunk dry so they get to close early, leaving us with a bit of exploring to do before we can have a nightcap.
Wed. Nov.2
There are still plenty of Bears milling around Bratislava. Some clown started a rumour that the Freckled One had resigned on the plane home but, having spoken to a couple of Press Gangsters immediately after the match and been told that Big Eck was talking of still having work to do at Ibrox, I wasn’t encouraging the spreading of any nonsense.
The manager may indeed be on borrowed time but I’ve a feeling Mr Chairman will give him a crack at saving himself during November. We were in a very similar position a year ago and, although I’m inclined to think its asking too much of him to do it again, he didn’t do too badly then.
We shall see
LITTLE BOY BLUE