THAT'S WHY I'M NOT MANAGER OF RANGERS
Like all fitba fans, I reckon I know a thing or two about the funny old game and I'd fancy my chances of putting a useful team together. But every so often there is a situation which has me wishing I'd kept my trap shut and Saturday was one such occasion.
Trailing 1-0 to the Jambos at half-time, I was far from happy with our lot's efforts. Everything seemed to be channelled through the middle, with no width to our game at all, Boydie was posted missing, Barry was having another one of those days which confirmed my suspicion that he can't wait to see the back of this season (aye, you and me both, Baz!) and Gavin Rae was the worst player on the park.
So if it was up to me, Rae would have got the hook at half-time, with Sionko put on to give us an option on the right, I'd have given Barry another ten minutes to make a difference or he'd be replaced by one of the kids, with Kevin Thomson urged to show what he could do as playmaker. Or if Boydie didn't work up a sweat, he might have been told to make way for one of the youngsters.
But of course I'm not the manager of the Rangers and, surprise surprise, Walter saw things a wee bit differently from me.
I can picture the scene in our dressing-room at the break. Barry would've been going radio rental, glaring in all directions. Why did everyone back off Kingston as he set off on a long run which set up Hearts' goal? When was Gavin Rae going to start passing the ball to a blue jersey? Had Boydie pissed off to the District for a pint during the first half? Did Alan Hutton think he would've got a nosebleed if he crossed the halfway line?
Amidst it all, Walter would have stood quietly in the corner than, seeing Barry stop for a breath, he'd step in, bang on the table to get everyone's attention, then say his piece.
"Right, its hardly been your best performance but you're doing okay, only Craig Gordon has kept them ahead so, keep at it, the breakthrough will come. Oh and by the way, Barry, instead of pointing the finger, maybe its time you got it out."
And with a wee bit of advice for Alan Hutton to get forward more, it looks like he left it at that and let the players get on with it.
Well, within six minutes of the restart, Alan gets clear on the right and, instead of blindly hammering the ball across goal as he has done so often in the past, he looks up, picks out Gavin Rae with a superb cross and Rae - yes, GavinfeckinRae! - scores with a great diving header.
There was only going to be one winner after that and the decisive goal was a thing of beauty. That great guy Dado Prso won the ball in midfield, got away down the left, his cross was half-cleared, but Hemdani knocked it back into the box and the self-same Barry I was thinking of subbing took the ball on his chest before firing a superb over-the-shoulder volley into the roof of the net.
Later in the weekend, the Mhedia Mhuppets were ranting and raving about a free-kick which was poorly defended and simply gaped at by the goalkeeper. Our winner was a genuine contender for goal of the season, yet barely got a mention ahead of Knackeredfella's late strike. Gordon The Garden Gnome has been quick to moan about his lot not getting enough penalties but he hasn't had too much to say about them getting soft free-kicks on the edge of the box, especially when they come somewhere between the 93rd minute and midnight.
To be perfectly honest, I'm not too bothered about Them finally stumbling across the finishing line, I just wish they'd done it somewhere else, preferably Mars. They've done it now, they'll probably have another wee gloat when they get the trophy this weekend but I'm looking forward to Rangers sorting them out good and proper when they come to our place the following week. Of course, they'll tell us it doesn't matter but you and I know it does, if only to give is some indication that we might get back on top next season.
My biggest worry about next season is the absence of Dado Prso. The big man has been a revelation during his three years at Ibrox and, with two of the three being seasons from Hell, it says so much about him that he has been able to rise above our club's troubles. If I was calling the shots, I'd hang on to him for another year, keep him on the bench and stick him on for the last 15/20 minutes here and there to take the pressure off our team and give opponents all sorts of problems.
But of course, I'm not the manager of the Rangers.
KILLIE BILLY