After the hugely successful get-together on 22nd August - attended by an estimated 9,000 green seats - the GSB is confident that they will go on to become the leading organisation promoting silent seat vigils anywhere in the UK. The Green Seat Brigade also dismissed the 51,000 anti-seat protestors (who turned out in a show of diminishing opposition to the seats during their last vigil), by flipping up and down rapidly.
Inspired by an article which appeared on-line last week, we decided to track down and investigate those behind this latest phenomenon. Using our contacts in Glasgow City Council, we managed to arrange a rendezvous on Friday morning and we were pushed across town using only sidestreets in zig-zags, blindfolded, sitting on a bogey for 40 minutes as we were led to the GSB's secret headquarters.
There, a spokesman for the Green Seat Brigade (who was hanging upside down in what appeared to be a rat-infested cave) muttered "níl a fhios gam 8aileach" then gestured for us to leave using a single flipping motion. It has still not been possible to establish why the green seats talk and scribble on things in a foreign language but the customary squeaking noises - accompanied by the outpouring of excrement - always indicates a level of genuine excitement even if they cannot be understood by normal people.
In seperate news, the GSB also later refused to comment on claims that a group of approximately 4,000 red seats which assembled in Toronto's MBO Field during a soccer match earlier this week, were in fact members of their own organisation in disguise. However, it is understood that they believe it is "75% absolutely guaranteed" that the emergence of so many red seats in one place will not pose a threat to the ever-increasing popularity of the green seat back in Glasgow.
ENDS.
* A well-deserved nod to fellow-posters dub and spliff *