Food for Thought

Last updated : 13 May 2005 By Followfollow.com

The recent hilarious rants and non-stories within certain sections of the Scottish media (okay, it was The Sun) discussing culinary delights such as Peperami sticks and Eggs Benedict being given the bums rush from Ibrox due to either their colour (green wrapper) or their name (Pope’s new moniker) got me thinking what other delectable dishes might soon be off limits at The Stadium in this oh-so-sensitive PC world.

I’ve come up with the following list of possible ‘red carders’:

Pope’s Eye Steak (speaks for itself)

Currant Bun (Cockney rhyming slang kills this one)

Potato Soup (in fact ALL potato-based dishes due to ‘The Spud Famine’
link)

Bagels (too Jewish – don’t wish to upset the new Pope)

Orange Glazed Duck (due to an intervention by Nil By Duck)

Lemon Pepper Chicken (due to an intervention by Neil Lennon’s dyslexic
agent)

Puffy Omelette (due to an intervention by Gay-ham Spiers)

Monkfish (could be insulting to the monastic community)

Pineapple Delights (Cockney rhyming slang kills this one also)

Brussels Sprouts (genuinely because they are ROTTEN)

Chicken (all chicken dishes have been removed due to the Bobby Sands
link)

Christmas Cake (don’t wish to offend agnostics or atheists)

Creamed Swede (removed in memory of the Diving One)

Vichyssoise (removed because no-one could pronounce it)

Yours at the grill,

Gordon ‘Furkin’ Ramsey