England Expects - Little Boy Blue's World Cup Countdown

Well, have you bought your World Cup Mars Bars, Carlsberg Lager, your flat-screen Sony TV, mobile phone, got your Nationwide England Bonus Account and the new three-piece suite (£10 cashback from DFS for every England goal!)?  Nope, me neither.   World Cup hype is moving into overdrive and we're being force-fed Wayne, Lamps, Rio, JT and old timers like Turnip Taylor, El Tel and Barnesy - at least he could rap!  It is almost as if the other 31 nations are just going to South Africa to make up the numbers but it has always been that way with the English media.  The Sun's ad, with Venables fancying himself as a bit of a chanter, even has a second star already added to their badge.  They have an overblown sense of superiority, an arrogant disregard of the opposition, which quickly turns into a witch-hunt if the other team, no matter who they happen to be, don't just roll over to get their tummy tickled.    This is where I am forced to explain myself yet again.  I'll be getting cheeky text messages from my mates Steve and Phil in Halifax but I'm not anti-English, nor do I have anything against any of their players, apart from being ever so slightly jealous of their millionaire lifestyles.  What gets right under my skin is TV making the assumption that, with the absence of Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales, we will all automatically switch our allegiance to England.  Well, being long enough in the tooth to remember how 1966 was rammed down our throats - they're still at it! - I can do without more of the same.   And when Preston-born Irishman Mark Lawrenson and Scotland's very own Alan Hanson start referring to England as 'we', I reach for the volume control.  Whether it is Clive Tyldesley, John Motson, Barry Davies, Jon Champion or Jonathan Pearce doing the commentary, I'll be checking out the stop-watch wondering how long it takes them to refer to events of 44 feckin years ago.  God, they're nearly as bad as Timothy!!!   Having said that, I reckon the current England team is better placed than at any time in the recent past to actually do the business.  With Terry and Ferdinand secure at the back, Gerrard and Lampard busy in midfield and Rooney playing just in front of them, the spine of the team looks good and Fabio Capello strikes me as the sort of manager who will put the right meat on the bones of the side, combining pace and power to make things happen.   The main concern has to be between the posts where, although Robert Green was impressive against Mexico last week, the manager gives the impression he is more inclined to go with the experience of David James.  But he'll always be 'Calamity' to me and, if I was picking the team, I would have given Joe Hart a run of games long before now.  The World Cup is an unforgiving environment and whoever gets the nod from Capello had better be prepared for a real hard time back home if anything goes wrong in South Africa.   Just listening to the tone of the television coverage of last weekend's game against Japan told me the critics are just waiting to pounce.  One moment it is remember 1966 and all that guff, the next it is ridicule and insults.  Well, with another nasty foreign chappie in charge (remember Sven?), it is hardly cricket, is it?   England really have to hit the ground running against the USA.  A narrow win, even if an unimpressive performance has the Press turning against their team, would be enough to get three points on the board and set up an intriguing clash with Algeria on June 18, with both teams probably playing for leadership of the group.  No matter what, knowing Algeria and America will be cutting each other's throats elsewhere, the final game against Slovenia should be a relatively low-key occasion, presenting Capello with one last chance to tinker with his side before the nitty-gritty of the knock-out stages.     Winning Group C would set the English up for a second round clash with the runners-up of Group D where, assuming Germany win it, Australia, Serbia or Ghana would stand between England and the last eight.  Thereafter, France or Nigeria could be quarter-final opponents with Brazil lurking just around the corner.   It certainly won't be dull.  I fancy I'll be growling and throwing a missile or two in the direction of the TV screen before this World Cup is over.   Tomorrow:  POSTED MISSING.  LBB laments those who will miss out on the glamour of South Africa.