The opening article “Straight from the Bantam’s Beak” had been penned shortly after Bradford City had finalised a CVA (creditor’s voluntary agreement) and yet contained the wonderful phrase “Being a City fan, I am still insanely optimistic . . . “ I suppose this is just like football fans everywhere . . . or nearly everywhere!
I shall not cover all the articles included in the edition I read, but will mention the two common themes that ran throughout the whole fanzine, and these were an intense dislike (I am being diplomatic here) of Leeds United, who are their local rivals, and a general disillusionment with the hype surrounding the English Premiership. The constant inference that all English football started and finished in the Premiership, and outside of it, nothing mattered, was obviously a running sore for the average Bradford City fan.
TWO FORMER GERS PLAYERS MENTIONED
I was pleased to note that both Ally McCoist and Stuart McCall were both mentioned in a positive vein – the former being referred to as an “eloquent and lively presenter” and the latter simply as “The Ginger Prince.”
THE BEST ARTICLE IN THE FANZINE
In this Bear’s opinion, the best feature was a full four page glossary of Chairmanspeak entitled “What It Actually Means” and I list below a few examples (perish the thought that readers might draw any parallels with our own great Club):-
“It is only an option to buy the assets and there’s nothing for anyone to worry about. We haven’t decided anything yet.”
WIAM – It’s all signed, sealed and delivered and I would’ve got away with it too if it hadn’t been for you pesky trusts.
“Anyone who criticises these plans is impeding progress and holding us back.”
WIAM – We’d rather not get into a reasoned debate on this because we’d most probably lose it.
“Fans aren’t qualified to run a football club.”
WIAM – Unlike us! We’re all scrap metal merchants.
“We’ve separated the ground ownership from the club to save the club.”
WIAM – When the club goes into liquidation, I get my dirty hands all over an important part of the community’s history and culture.
“We’re seeking new investors to help take the club forward.”
WIAM – We’ve run out of cash ourselves, so the Chairman’s some of his pals at the gold club to get their cheque books out. Failing that, we’ll get some mug who doesn’t realise how bad things are. Speaking of which – any of you fans won the lottery lately?
“We’re talking to the fans about having a director on the Board.”
WIAM – We’ll make nice noises, as we need the cash but really hope we can keep you stalled on this one.
“We consulted with supporters on these important plans.”
WIAM – We ran a focus group and everyone hated the idea, but we told them that everyone else loved it and they shrugged their shoulders and muttered “oh well, must be me then.” The chairman also asked a few of the guys in the corporate lounge who said the chairman was “full of great ideas.” We don’t like to talk to supporters groups. They’re too bloody clever and organised.
“I’ve poured huge amounts of my own money in this club.”
WIAM – I’ve classed it as loans secured against the ground in the books, so should things ever go pear-shaped, I’ll be first in the queue of creditors. I’ve also saved a pretty penny by writing off the losses here against tax on my more profitable business
“Securitisation is the way forward for the club.”
WIAM – We’re going to mortgage the next 25 years of ticket income to give the manager a few million to spend, which will go on various cloggers, dobbins, has-beens and never-weres in a futile attempt to turn this small provincial club into a global giant. However, we won’t be here when it all goes wrong, unlike you poor saps, whose romantic loyalty and devotion we have cashed in on to get the money in the first place.”
TWO CONCLUSIONS
The manner in which they refer to Leeds United throughout is derogatory, to say the least. Is this acceptable in a Fanzine? Absolutely! I expected nothing less, and all I will say is that if we referred to our nearest rivals in such terms, the hand-wringers would be out in full force with cries of “bigotry” and “sectarianism” instead of “rivalry” and “good taste”!
At £1.50 a copy, is it value for money? I would say so.
For a copy send £1.50 to City Gent, PO Box 56, Bradford, BD13 3XW