Seldom can so much drivel have been written about such an insignificant event. Since the Mhankies squeezed past Stuttgart and Liverpool saw off Auxerre, the Hack Pack have lost the plot about what they call a Scotland v England confrontation and they have been free with talk of it being the Battle Of Britain.
Well, I wonder how many Saltires or Lion Rampants will be unfurled by the fans of the team who are supposed to be representing Scotland...and how British do they feel going into this so-called Best Of British encounter?
Well, lets get one thing straight. Whatever else this UEFA Cup tie might be, it is no Best Of British shoot-out. C'mon, while the Scum Of continue to trail in the wake of the Sons Of in the SPL, Liverpool languish in SEVENTH place in the Premiership table so don't bore the arse off me by stupidly talking up of this meeting of two teams who have clearly seen better days.
Sure, the UEFA Cup is a significant competition but would you really swop our place at the top of the heap for a few more Euro pay-days? While they go in search of the phoney glory of an extended run in the Mickey Mouse Cup (their words, not mine, when we were still in it last season), Rangers are focussed on the serious business of regaining the SPL Championship and booking our passage to next season's Champions League. That'll do for me.
To be perfectly honest, I didn't shed too many tears when Septic beat Stuttgart. Anything which might take their eye off the ball as the title run-in gathers momentum is fine by me so, being confident they'll get a seeing-to from Liverpool, I am fairly happy with life.
But the media hype surrounding both legs of this tie might give a new arrival on this planet the impression that these are the UK's two major powers. And while I will put my hands up to any accusation that I am not looking at this from a totally impartial standpoint, I venture to suggest that fans of Arsenal, ManU, Newcastle, Everton and Chelsea may be inclined to agree with my stance.
So while every Soapdodger you know is crawing about 'wan team in Europe', give him a patronising smile, glance at the league table and ask 'who are you playing anyway?' Well, it would be different if it was a big team.
Christ, I might get a bit jealous myself if they were facing one of the Milan teams, Real Madrid or Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Ajax or Feyenoord. I could even get excited about a game involving ManU or Arsenal.
But Liverpool, just like Blackburn, Celta Vigo and Stuttgart before them, are an overrated name, among the has-beens, might-bes and downright no-hopers of the football world, and the outcome of this forthcoming doubleheader will matter not a jot in the greater scheme of things.
Yet it doesn't surprise me top see the Press Gangsters reverting to type and bumming up their favourites. The 'legendary' Sellick support - were you on the plane home from Vigo caller? - has been mobilised. 20,000 with flock south despite getting only 3,000 tickets. Contrast this pat-on-the-back treatment to the scare-mongering which preceded our trip to Leeds eleven years ago when, with our 'custodians' having approved of an away fans ban, there was talk of police road blocks on all roads into Leeds.
Liverpool will become the capital of the Irish Republic for a day, with the laughable Northern Ireland peace process being laughed at in every pub and club on Merseyside. But just as they were at Blackburn, this collection of gypsies, tramps and thieves will be acclaimed as good fun guys...and any attempt to storm the gates (a la Ewood Park) will be swept under the carpet and justified by the presence of a number of forged tickets.
Sooner or later the people of England have to wake up to this scum of the earth. They have poured into countless towns for testimonial matches, sung songs about the killing of police officers and soldiers (some of whom will come from the city they are visiting) and the massacre of innocent civilians, then they expect you to believe they support a non-sectarian club, 'we're only here for the fitba'. And they will do it in Liverpool too...and get away with it, thanks to their friends in the media.
However, while I have always enjoyed our wee jaunts south with Rangers, I won't be green (or any other poxy colour!) with envy that day. They WILL make a James Hunt of themselves, they WILL be found out and their team WILL get shafted.
It might not all happen at the same time but, as my big pal Meatloaf was prone to saying, Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad...for now!
LITTLE BOY BLUE