As we were handed over to the drummer with the ill-fitting suit and zero credentials for the post, the treats in store were as follows, and in order -
Comedy report on Martinez for Celtic, wherein Patrick Kevin Francis Michael Nevin told us that Roberto of Swansea was the man to have Celtic playing like Barcelona, an effect somewhat ruined by the fact that none of the aimlessly milling about Celtic Park faithful could recognise the man, save one brute who told us Snr. Martinez wasn't a "Celtic Man - we need a Celtic man".
Report from Roland Garros, where Andy Murray didn't actually play, but we paid for someone to squint in the sun, so let's go there anyway.
News that a New Zealander who played for Scotland will be playing for the British and Irish Lions in a warm-up this week. Maybe.
Monty the Golfer talking about next year's Ryder Cup.
And that's your lot. Nothing about the Cup Final. Nothing about plucky Falkirk, far less the news from Ibrox or some word on the 11th double.
Some will say "It doesn't matter if the BBC ignore us." And it is comical to observe the pain and hurt evident within the corporation's Glasgow office. But they miss one crucial point: if Setanta, or SKY, or a commercial broadcaster wish to be partial, or to skew their coverage, then that is their right - and we have the right to decline their product and refuse to pay to be patronised and treated like idiots.
The BBC is an entirely different matter. We pay for it, whether we like it or not. Its Scottish Sports output has consistently failed over the years to be impartial, and to be fair. We must take every opportunity to highlight this and to ensure the organisation upholds its obligations and stays true to the very conditions of its charter.