attractive for the Rangers support in the sense we’ll get to visit
another ground for the benefit of one of our former servants; but I’d
contend Ted’s spiritual home was, is and always will be brox Park.
This isn’t a historical look back at the life and times of Ted; but I
hope an amusing wee, nostalgic look back at some aspects of the Rangers
career of a guy who really did exemplify the term ‘cult hero’.
Everybody will have their favourite moments of his Rangers
career. Whether it was a manic celebration of a goal, like his circling
the corner flag after scoring direct from a corner kick; or a
miraculous goal like the 40 yarder at Pittodrie; or - the inevitable
occurrence when Ted crops up in the conversation – when he dribbled
past half of the Ilves Tampere team in 1986 in a UEFA Cup tie then
miscued his attempted cross and ended up on a heap on the floor while
the ball trundled harmlessly out for a corner kick; or his mindboggling
performance against Dundee United in the 1986 Skol Cup Final; or the
amazing goal he scored against Clydebank at Ibrox that season – sadly
not televised – when, from the bye-line and about 12 yards from the
nearest post, he somehow found an angle to score and almost ripped the
net out! There are loads of examples like these. I’m sure there are
people reading this saying, “Aye, but you missed this bit” and so
on. That was what it was like watching Ted play. There are so many
memories of a truly eccentric footballer it’s impossible to relate them
all.
Of course, with a player of that nature he could at times look as if
he’d only been introduced to a football 5 minutes before a game kicked
off. But such was his manner that was simply accepted by and large as
part of his make-up.
Personally, my favourite memory of him was the way he handed Derek
Whyte an 18th birthday present he’s unlikely to ever forget by giving
him a humiliation in the first live Rangers – Celtic league game in
1986. Ted had Whyte chasing shadows to such an extent throughout the
game, you’d have had bother differentiating Birthday Bhoy’s body from
an oversized corkscrew at the end.
Ted played football as it was meant to be played: as enjoyment and
entertainment. How many other players have you ever seen that showed
tricks that were attempted on the school playground? Such as hammering
the ball 40 yards past an opponent, running round his other side,
putting his foot abruptly on the ball when catching it, letting the
opponent sprint past then nutmegging him for good measure?
Yes, he’ll never be compared to the great wingers like Davie Cooper and
Alan Morton; but for the time he was at Ibrox he was one in a million
and I, along with I’m sure, every other Bluenose, wish him nothing but
the very best for the future.
Here’s to welcoming him back home to Ibrox and out on to the pitch for
his testimonial.
Yours in Rangers,
AYRSHIRE BILLY BOY